17 November 2013

24 and 25: Pain and Exhaustion (and Excitement!)

The default question you are asked when you are pregnant is, "how you are feeling?" Most of the time I give a half-truth, like, "oh, I'm doing okay," but the truth is, I have felt pretty terrible these last few weeks. Since I don't want to clutter my facebook feed with how I'm really feeling ('cause who wants to know that I'm stretching and paining and itchy and aching and oozing and all the rest of it?), I am going to vent it here, in near-anonymity.

Due to all that has been happening in our lives in the past several weeks, I've missed my physio, massage, and chiro treatments (for injuries sustained in a car accident in February) and that lack of treatment, combined with the excruciating hip pain, and the renewed/intensified ligament pain in my belly has left me in a bit of a state. Moving hurts, sitting hurts, and laying hurts. If there was an invention whereby I could just float on a soft cloud around my house and office at work, I'd totally buy it. Though with my luck, floating would hurt too, ha ha! As much as I love being pregnant, there is a little selfish part of me that just wants to sleep on my stomach for one night, dammit! Or to be able to stand up without nearly falling back down. My body just feels weak and fragile...not exactly how I imagined feeling while sustaining this beautiful life inside!

The internet tells me that most women have this sudden burst of energy in their second trimester and that they feel almost human again. I call bullshit. At least for me. In fact, I managed to actually get more tired and as I near my third trimester, the tired just keeps increasing. Lately, I tire more easily from things that are totally normal for most people. Things like grocery shopping in the evening after work, or walking a few blocks, or doing a few loads of laundry are enough to completely sap me of energy. Like enough to want to go to bed immediately. Now that we are packing to move, I get a few boxes done and I'M done. It's incredibly frustrating to someone like myself, as I am used to pushing past my body saying "no," but now I just don't have that ability. Danny has very kindly taken on our shared part-time job by himself. I feel guilty, but intensely grateful.

Because it's not all doom and gloom...really! I am enjoying all of the lovely parts of being pregnant. The kicking in my belly has gotten stronger and more frequent. I love it...whenever I feel a kick, I just smile to myself and savour the moment. Okay, except when the baby decides to go all ninja on my bladder, because I nearly peed my pants the first time that happened last week! She is super-strong for weighing less that two pounds! I am nearing trimester three, and I am excited about that. I can feel the changes in my body as it begins preparing for the final stages of pregnancy. Some of the changes are nice, like getting rounder, and starting to put on a little weight. Other changes, not so nice. But I won't go into those here, 'cause they're gross and my brother reads this blog!

I may have written this post just for myself, so congrats and thank you if you actually made it all the way through the good, the bad, and the ugly. In parting, here is a photo I took in week 24:

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